Diwali is regarded as a pan Indian festival which is celebrated from Kashmir to Kanyakumari (Commies might have some problems with the statement). It is Bade Diwali for some , Deepawali for some , Laxmi or Lokkhi Puja and lastly Kali Puja in some parts of Jambu Dwip . But there is a common factor over here , Ram returned to Ayodhya by defeating his father-in-law Ravaan (I’m not joking , you read it right) i.e the triumph of good over bad ( again who is good? who is an evil ? ..forget) and we are ought to celebrate it with light . Since light illuminates by defeating the darkness inside you. So the Bade Diwali is over and here are few options to opt out or try out next day and across the weekend……………………….
1.Checking your Account Balance
You have bought expensive gifts (some people recycle it ) for your friends , family and other hoomans. Diwali bonus are almost myth now-a-days and above all you have indulged yourself in capitalistic showcase of burning crackers..(jitna paisa ..utna pataka). Oh Diwali baksheessh…you gave na ?
So you can write an elegy or sad song about all those hard-earned money.
2.Checking your Facebook and Instagram
You have posed and poised to pose across last few days in your best available attires. It is high time to upload them or using image filters to get the best of you ( strictly for the ugly fucks like us).Oh shit , some people have already uploaded them and you have been tagged in the most hilarious and sickening poses. Ask them to untag or remove them(mostly with girls, yes stereotyping) and for the guys : “Woh daaru wala image hata saaley”. Some lass is going to stalk people on social network
3. The Environmentalist
The dormant environmentalist inside you will rise up from a slumber state of hangover. You will regret the hazardous air-quality of your area ,especially if you are from NCR. Maa kasam , I was in Delhi last year, ” Watt lag gaya tha”. Well please think before hand , no need to use your thinking cap after you have done all the kaand. It is the festival of light not sound….
4. Consume all the ladduus
If you have a sweet-tooth and you have siblings having same kind of madness ,please open up your fridge door and finish it off . This is a rat race and be a Milkha Singh …You need to consume all the ladduus or else your mom is going to use it for all the lame relatives and good for nothing neighbours.For the Bewdas and Bewdis , Nimbudaa Nimbudaa is your song of the day.
This is your only chance of redemption.
5. Save your phone
Guys please go to the Whatsapp images and get rid of thousands forwarded GIFs , pics of Diwali as soon as possible. Your phone is literally crying out in pain , ” Arrey rukh ja re bandey , aarey tham ja re bandey..ki kudrat hass padegi ho” (Indian Ocean , Black friday) Free your internal storage..please.
6. Hit the Gym
You have consumed like a Bhukkad and a Bear ..itna paap kaun dhoega. Go to the gym and burn your calories or else be like me…write lame blog posts…
Lastly , watch Bazaar or Badhai Ho..no Holly Flicks…Only Indian Films. Oh new episodes of The Flash , Legends Of Tomorrow are out . Jai Baba Torrent.For the bibliophiles… you have the new Booker Prize winner(2017),you know what to do. 😀
Disclaimer – Images have been shamelessly stolen from the internet.